What to Say

I'm feeling a bit...disappointed.
Things have actually been going pretty well lately, and certain concerns I have had about living situations and whatnot are getting taken care of. So, ya know, I should be feeling pretty good. On the contrary, I've been feeling a little anxious, and I have had a hard time sleeping this last week. The past couple of days I have just kept myself so busy, so that I didn't have enough time to stop and think about things that I didn't need to think about. If that seems vague, it's intentional.
So on to the disappointment...
I have been pretty lucky in my life as far as friendships are concerned. I know so many amazing people. I have done a decent amount of traveling, always meeting new faces, always forming new connections. Moving here was the same. New friends, new things.
People slip in and out of your life, and this is the way of things. You are happy that you have the chance to know them when you do. Friendships enrich the soul. Long term ones and short term ones. Let's face it, we are all different; We have different hopes and dreams, and pursue different ends. We have to enjoy the times we have, and let each other move on.
Sometimes I just don't want to let people go though.
Some people I just want to hang onto. I guess that's normal.
In this case, it isn't only my wanting to hold onto someone, but also just feeling like...I haven't gotten to know them as well as I would have liked, and now that might not happen. Which, of course, is something that I need to accept and I have known that all long.
*sigh*
I also have my own ends to pursue. I didn't move here to work at Starbucks forever. Yeah, I like my job. I actually do. Even so, eventually I need to take some writing classes and look into some other things...not because I know what I want to do with my life, but because there are a lot of things I *could* do. Something creative would be nice. There are just a lot of options and I am certainly not ready to be matronly; Just get comfy and settle in and never go anywhere again or whatever.
So...we come, we go. We make friends and we lose touch with friends. Life evolves. It's supposed to. Change is good.

So why does my heart feel like this?



**Currently reading: His Majesty's Dragon/Naomi Novik