I Met Jesus in a Bar

It's the name of a country song, in case you are feeling baffled.
One of the things I love about country music, is that you can talk about Jesus as much as you want, and nobody labels you as a "christian" artist. In country music, you are all just country music, it isn't split up into all these little sub categories to judge one another by.

So, I would have posted sooner, but I was having some problems with my internet connection, and my computer, which didn't want to recognize the connection or some such nonsense. I will not bother you with an explanation.

I had actually written this really long post when it initially went out, and for some reason I couldn't paste my entry into a word document or anything....I was pissed. In any case, a lot of what I am feeling is just a rehash of things I have mentioned before. I've been thinking a lot about old friends, and the ways I used to judge them, and how very long it took me to learn my lesson.
Have you ever seen that t-shirt that says; "You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl" ?? I love that shirt. haha! I used to crack jokes about it, although secretly, it is my shirt. lol.
I miss the things we did when I was a kid. The girls I grew up near, their parents were friends with mine, and we did everything together. Both sets of us had grandparents on one side who lived out in the country. We would go horsebackriding, and play outside. We went to rodeo's in these tiny Washington towns. We lived on the edge of town. We walked down to the creek and jumped in on summer days.
I am so country. haha!
It took me awhile to figure that out.

I like cities too, but it's not the same. There's nowhere to drive to clear my head. Unfortunately, people are what really make a place, and when people leave, it's just not the same. I want my friends near me, and I selfishly want to go through them all, and take out the ones I want the most, and place them all in locations very near to mine.

I know that my thoughts probably seem all cluttered and all over the place at the moment, and if what I write is hard to understand, I apologize. There are certain things I am not completely sure I want to be honest about in a blog, and there are decisions I need to make, and so much going on in my heart....Ugh. I am relatively at peace for all of this, but soon I am going to start freaking out!!
Since my blog has been consumed with the more emotional aspects of my life lately, I have neglected to talk about my physical state of being.
My back is a mess.
In fact, I can no longer work an eight hour day. I had to give up several hours this week because I am in constant pain. When I am at home, sitting, resting, it's much much better, and enables me to sit here and write and think about other things. When I am at work, and on my feet for hours, it is all consuming. I have to work really hard not only to tolerate the pain, but also to be nice....to everyone. :p
I got a referral to a physical therapist that is a lumbar specialist, but looking at my insurance, and how often I am going to have to go...I am worried about making all the bills. Also, I don't know how long it's going to take him to get me out of pain, and in the meantime, I am working less hours to pay more bills. I also have a prescription for muscle relaxers, which I don't take at home, just at work when I have to have them, but they work for a very limited period of time, and I don't want to ask my doctor for a stronger one. I need to be able to work, not sleep through it! ha!
Taking on a roommate would solve all of my money problems, but there are complications to that as well. So, I am not sure what I am going to do. I have to decide soon, but I really don't want to. I really want my friend from home to show up on my doorstep and say; Hey! Here I am to live with you and pay half your rent! Wee! ..wouldn't that be nice?
Unfortunately it looks doubtful. Said friend probably needs a month to decide what she is going to do, and I don't have even close to that long.

In essence, I could use the prayers of any of you that do that. ;)

The living, working, hurting, situation does actually distract my brain from the emotional issues for small periods of time, so that is at least a blessing in disguise. heh.
I would like to find my decision suddenly made for me, in some great and beneficial way. Doubt that that is going to happen though! haha!

Okay, so back to the title of this blog, and country music.
I was wandering around the house talking on my phone last night, to my friend Shawn, and saying to her how nice it is to talk to people who not only know you, but knew you when. You know, people who you grew up around, and who know things about you that you have grown up trying to forget??? haha!!!
I have totally left most of these people behind, and now I find that really really sad. This has been a year, a season, of rediscovery for me. I might have big issues right now, but in some ways I am better adjusted than I have been in a long time. It's weird huh? :p
So this guy is singing about how he met Jesus in a bar, and I guess you can't fall too far, and I wonder how people ever got the idea that Jesus wouldn't be in a bar anyway? I mean, he sought out those kind of people, drowning their sorrows. He had something especially for them.
It makes me think of some people I know.
So last night I was online, and listening to this Todd Agnew song called 'Grace Like Rain,' and I was just singing outloud, and feeling really uplifted, and right then I would have loved a great worship service. I was thinking about how I feel when I am in the middle of a great worship service. I was thinking about how my friend could probably really use that right now, and that I wish he could experience that feeling, just for a moment, so that he could get some peace, and some rest.
It might not last forever, but it certainly helps. Knowing that I can experience that once in awhile, makes life a lot more livable.
So my friend online laughed and said; Why don't you email him the feeling?!
haha! I wish it were that simple. Wouldn't that be nice?!!
=P
So anyway....there is another little selection from the life and times of Amanda. Thanks for joining us, gentle reader. =)